What is Freedom, My Dearest Amber?
by frozenfourtrisponies
Summary: A story about a girl and a prophecy. (Basically- Tris and Tobias's unwanted daughter raised by Will & Christina. She has powers and can do just about anything. Represents all factions...She is in love with Eric's son...the was DID happen- more on that in the first chapter though. :) ) On a crazy quest to find freedom, will Amber discover that freedom doesn't really exist?
1. Chapter 1- Quite the Scene

_**Hi everyone! I've had a bit of a writer's block on my last story..:P I will do my best to update it, but I had this idea...read & review! Thanks! **_

**/ Backstory \\ (READ- IT WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND!)**

**The war on Abnegation did happen- it was under a different Erudite leader- NOT JEANINE. People died- but no main characters (Will, Tris's Mom, etc). Nothing about the outside the fence or whatever came up. The Erudite just wanted more government control…and the leader was insane/a drunk (aka: corrupt leader). Nobody went farther than that- new Erudite officials, everything worked out fine. Factions went back to normal. **

**Tris accidentally got pregnant with Tobias's child soon after. They didn't want a kid- Tobias was scared he would hurt her like his father did to him, and Tris would do want Tobias wanted. They gave the child to Christina and Will, who raised the girl as her parents. The girl thought they were her parents until….the rest shall be revealed! But that's all you need to know…FOR NOW! HAHAHAHA**

**Our story starts when this girl is at her choosing ceremony….**

I stand in a straight line of sixteen year olds. Over half of them are gone now, already choose their faction. I haven't really kept up with who chose what. I'm not paying attention. Out of the corner of my eyes, I watch the remaining teenagers. There palms are sweaty, sometimes shaking, they watch their friend's blood drip into bowls. They bite their lip, nervously look around, tap their toe quietly.

My ears only perk up when I hear, "Jake-" Eric, the Dauntless leader, _my_ faction leader, who is performing the choosing ceremony this year, hesitates. "Kn-Chaney." He does it so quickly I almost don't realize that he starts to say Jake's real last name. Eric's last name.

Jake walks to the podium where Eric is. His eyes dart to mine as he walks past me. But he shows no emotion, he walks with his head held high. Which I know is difficult for him to do. Eric holds the knife out to him, all muscles in his body tense, looking straight ahead, not even making eye contact with Jake.

Jake accepts the knife, and makes his way to the choosing bowls. His eyes meet mine again, and I nod. We had talked about this earlier. He makes his way to the bowl with the flaming coals. Jake moves slowly, but efficiently. He puts his hand over the flame and cuts. I watch the as the blood drips in- drop by drop. I watch as blood ignites the flame a bit.

The Dauntless whoop and cheer, and as he walks over to them, he puts a smile on his face, people slap his shoulders as he walks by to go to stand with the Dauntless- born initiates. When the Dauntless have quieted, Eric continues. Jake crosses his arms and looks straight at me. He is across the room now, with Dauntless. I am still here undecided, belonging to no one. I can't help but smile to myself knowing that this is how I will feel for the rest of my life.

Names go by, people step up to help shape the path of their destiny. I don't watch them, my eyes are focused on Jake's, a green blue mixture, which helps me do exactly what I need to do right now- think.

"Amber Pollard." I can tell that when Eric says it, the name is not unfamiliar on his tongue. It is an Erudite last name, after all. I make quick eye contact with my parents, well the ones that I am actually _proud_ to call my parents. My little sister smiles a smile so big- it covers her whole five-year-old face.

I walk to Eric, with what I hope is the same calmness Jake was able to walk to him with. The knife is held out for me, his arm extended. When I get to him, I push it down slightly and whisper, "My last name. You got it wrong."

"I know." He hisses back. I look him in the eye, and then push the knife back.

"I don't want it." This time, I talk loud enough for all the factions to hear me, "Shoot me if you want. I'd rather be dead then live in a place where I am told to live in one mindset, where I am only supposed to have only one value." Whispers and gasps, fill my ears.

"Death can be arranged." He shouts at me, even though I'm only a few inches in front of his face. He lunges toward me.

"Stop!" It's a high-pitched shout. It's a high pitched _command._ Eric stops immediately when he sees its Jeanine Matthews, the Erudite leader.

"Did you not hear her?" Eric says through gritted teeth and narrows his eyes.

"Of course I did. But do _you_ know who she is?"

"Do you not remember….the girl with red hair and blue eyes..the girl…"Johanna, the Amity leader, stumbles with her words. I know these words by heart. The Candor leader, Tyler Won, finishes them for her, "The girl with four parents. Grey to black. Blue to black. White to black. Orange and yellow woven deep into her face. "

I can't help but look at Christina and Will now. I've been calling them that for the past few months, it still doesn't fit quite like "mom" and "dad" did, but right now I'm sure who to call those titles. So I don't call anybody them. Despite her caramel colored skin, Christina is pale, see through like the glass shards she came from. Her mouth is hung open, and I can barely see her lip quivering. Will stands still, he's paler than usual. His arm is around Christina's shoulder, clutching her so tightly- like he is holding on for dear life.

"The girl that will represent us all." I can't help but say with a sarcastic tone in my voice and smirk on my face. I narrow my eyes at Eric, who looks although is a pouting toddler.

"You don't need to recite that to me. I know." Eric now sounds the part of a pouting two year old.

"It's about time the factions did though." I can't help but think '_Oh shut up Candor.'_ But then I realize that because 'I represent them all' I have to represent loud mouth Candor's too. In my mind, I eye roll, but I don't actually do it. It is time that I actually look at Jake. He is gritting his teeth; his jaw is clenched, watching every move.

In the eerie silence, Jeanine speaks, "And my favorite part- the girl with gifts beyond imagine." Her eyes light up at 'gifts' and 'imagine'. She has been trying to control me for years, but I have been resistant. She doesn't even know what I am capable of.

"And save us all." Johanna speaks up- for once. Those Amity pansycakes. I can't help but smile using my 'Uncle' Uriah's word. We aren't blood related, but he more like family then my blood parents are. My eyes scan the crowd for him. His eyes are dead set on me. When he sees me looking at him, he winks. I have to stifle a smile.

Uriah gives me the courage to speak, "Enough about me and all that prophecy crap. Let's get on with the ceremony. Shall we?" Then, I realize that is stupid to say, because it's _my_ turn, and I'm standing in the middle of the bowls.

"It is _your_ turn Amber. Make your choice."

"I represent all factions."

"Not until it is time." This time, I really eye roll, because Jeanine administered my aptitude test. She knows my results came back as all of the above. She knows I already represent them all.

"Jeanine, you know what I am going to do."

"I don't believe you are brave enough for that."

"Want to bet?" I narrow my eyes at the blonde in the blue dress. I feel my anger rising. I don't realize my hands are moving. I don't realize the walls are moving. "Because I swear- I swear! I will never choose one of these-" A shriek interrupts me. I stop mid-sentence and look around. I have lifted the walls, they are above us now. Light streams in on us.

"With the right training-"

"Shut. Up." I slam the walls back down. There is a large crashing noise, plenty of screams, but the walls don't break.

Tyler steps forward, "Gifts beyond imagine, indeed. You are truly astonishing Amber." He smiles at me. I can see the hunger for power- for using me deep within his eyes. I can hear it in his mind.

"So, my turn right?" I sigh and gather my thoughts. The faction leaders step back to their factions to watch me. As Eric walks back to the podium, he hands me the knife, "Choose wisely." Is all he says.

I tilt my head slightly. I am right in the center of the bowls. One step, one step, defines me. One step chooses my life.

I don't like it one bit.

I spin the knife in my hand. I try to speak, but no words come. Finally, "I don't want to be a part of this corrupted government, this corrupt way of living. I don't care who I am! Who you say I am." I look from faction to faction. "I'd rather be anywhere but in a faction." More gasps.

"So you will be factionless." Eric clasps his hands together and smiles an evil smile. He is obviously enjoying this.

"No. I will not be factionless." I spit out the words like they are trash, "I will be free." With that, I move my hands ever so slightly so the faction bowls break, there contents spilling on the floor, mixing. This mixture of glass, water, earth, stones, and flaming coals stops at my feet. I repeat myself, "I will be free."

I turn to leave, "Get her!" It's Eric.

I keep walking, "I'm not really in the mood to be a bloodthirsty murder right now Eric. But I can easily be one, if you want." I look over my shoulder slightly. With the flick of my hand, I push him to the wall, hard enough to make him not want to mess with me, but not enough force to kill him.

Everyone is petrified of me. The factions are silent. Once voice pipes up from the crowd, "Where are you going?" I turn to look at her. She is right next to Will. Who is saying "sshhhh" to her. He must be afraid of me too. Something inside me breaks.

It's my sister. The girl with wide smile and innocent eyes. "Outside the fence, Char. Where I can be honest, and kind, and brave, and selfless, and smart. Where I can be myself. Where I don't have to worry. Where I can be happy. Where I can be free." I am walking backwards slowly now. I take one last look at my family.

I turn to leave again, and am halfway to the door when I feel a shoulder brush mine. It's Jake. "You're pretty stupid to follow me."

"Love can make people do stupid things."

The doors open at my small movement, and we step out. They shut loudly behind us.

_**Please review! Thanks! **_


	2. Chapter 2-A Car Ride To Sunset

_**Ridgegirl-**__** I started out the first chapter as pretty much a giant question. I know. I'm going to answer a few questions, but the rest will be revealed in later chapters! These are spoilers just to let you know. ;)**_

_**She has powers- no she was not born with it. (which is a big part in the story). These powers may or may not have been given to her by certain someplace outside the fence (trying not to reveal too much, haha)**_

_**The leaders have known about her since age 10 when she first received her powers…this is a prophecy, and basically they have been in search of a girl like Amber for a long time (or so they think). When they realized she fit, and she had the powers, they immediately tried to take control over her. **_

_**This story does tie in a lot to what is outside the fence, and that is mostly why she has her powers, why she represents all factions. She does start what at what seems to be perfect- but inside there is a war going on. That's pretty much sums up this chapter though. She also had a really rough history (more in this chapter!)**_

_**I hope that helps! :D That's all I'd really like to give away right now, so you'll have to stay tuned! **_

**Onwards with the story! (there is a very small time lapse) **

"I know you want to talk about it." I cringe slightly as my voice cracks. In silence, I can hear his neck move ever so slightly so he is looking at me. I feel his eyes staring at my profile. He wants to me turn and look at him, but I don't.

He sighs. "You know, I really hate it when you read minds." Now I turn to look at him, a smile forming on his face.

"I don't like to do it, you know. And I wasn't. It's pretty obvious." He turns to me and we stop in the Amity fields, he kisses me on the forehead.

He leans down, I am short like Tris. Not as short, but not tall. He whispers in my ear, "The question is, do want to talk about it?" I hate to cry, but the tears just came spilling out then. I lean into him, and start to sob on his shoulder.

_This is why I love him so much_, I think. For when I cry into him, he rubs my back and my small shoulders, moving in small circles, touching where once was bruises and cuts. I suck in my breath.

"_If you do not tell us, I will hit you again!" Jeanine Matthews screams into my ear. She has a car pick me up outside the Dauntless compound every day- sometimes is goes to school, but the most time it goes to Erudite headquarters. _

_I see Tyler Won in the corner, looking smug. "Go ahead, hit me! I won't tell you." The information they want to know, is about my powers, and how they can harness them for their own good. I was born with these powers, even I am not sure what I am capable of. Only the Bureau knows. They gave me my mission. _

_The belt slaps my back again, this time the belt buckle cuts open my skin, blood spilling out. The room fades a little bit, and I do my best to keep breathing. In and out, in and out, it's an easy thing to think about when there is so much going on. It's a nice change. _

"_Well, I thought this would respond to you after your family history." Jeannie hisses out at me. I can't help but wonder what she means by 'family history'. I don't think my parents were ever beaten. And, why would that have anything to do with me? "So, we will have to try something else. Something that works." She smiles, and I let out a scream, my high pitched thirteen year old scream. _

_Two of her lackeys come to collect me to the electrocution chair. I tried to focus on breathing again, but the room started to spin and spin, I just close my eyes and let it all turn to black. _

I scream and stumble backwards. "Flashback?" It was Jake. I nodded; I've been having these lots lately. He offered me his hand, and helped me get up. I am shaking all over. When did I become so weak? Why am I crying? What's going on?

Jake wraps his arm around me, and we walk slowly together. I can see the tip of the fence in the distance. Thankfully, Jake does the talking so I don't have to, "We should go. In case somebody heard your scream. Let's run."

So, we run. We run until our legs burn, our muscles aching. The Amity fields are a blur in my side vision. I can see farther down the fence now, this isn't the most efficient route to the fence, but this area is the least guarded and the fields aren't videotaped. I can edit the cameras so they can't see us, but I can only use my powers so often- they take control of me if I'm not careful.

We stop in corn field. I sit down and breathe heavily. Jake does the same. We are quiet for a little while; we must have run about a mile. "I'm ready. To you know, talk about it." I look at him, but he is watching the sunset. It's not sunset quite yet, but it's getting close. I can see orange and yellow faintly coming into the sky.

"So, what was that? I mean, why did you go all…you know.." I am not stunned or hurt by his words. Jake is doing his best not be blunt, I can tell.

I try to lighten the mood by laughing. It doesn't really work. "I'm sick of her. Jeannine , I mean. Most of my life I've spent locked in Erudite headquarters, being electrocuted, being _tortured_. I didn't want to live that kind of life! I don't want to be controlled." I pause, "I didn't mean to get all insane. I didn't mean to break the bowls or move the walls. I didn't! I don't know what came over me." I am crying silently now. "I must of looked like…like a monster! Was I? Was I a monster?"

He sighed, "You're not monster." He kisses my hair lightly.

"Did you not see them? Did you not see Christina? She thought I was a monster. She was _scared _of me. Of me." My wall of strength cracked and broke. I was sobbing into his shoulder again.

"It's okay. You're okay." Jake holds me close. I want to freeze this moment, I don't want it to end. I just want to live here forever, in the fields of Amity.

I sniffle. "I'm sorry. I don't mean for you to pity me." I look to the sky and wipe away my tears. The sun is setting now. The sky filled with orange, pink, and yellow. The sun is setting by our destination- the fence. I can't help but think how lucky the sun must be, setting in freedom. It may rise in the factions , but it leaves free.

"How did you do it, though?" He is watching the sunset too. "The walls and stuff I mean. How do you…control it?" I sigh. He's asked me this before. I usually just say, 'I don't know.' But I _do_ know.

"I try to stay you know, un-involved. Don't get into trouble, and don't get into other people's business. I can control it, but when I get angry and frustrated, it gets harder to control."

He snorts. "You always are in other people's business." Jake looks at me with his eyebrows raised a smile on the corners of his mouth.

"Hey, I just said I try to." I snap at him. When I register hurt in his eyes, I start to apologize. But instead, I am interrupted by some headlights. Jake and I look at each other, and get up to run.

I hear the car window roll down, "Hey! Lovebirds! Hop in!" I laugh. I was so afraid! I thought it was Jeanine or a patrol or something like that. Someone that wanted to kill me. But no. It's my best friend, it's Jeanette. I stop running and walk to the car. Jake doesn't realize it's Jean at first, so he keeps running, he realizes I'm not with him though.

Jake stops and looks back. I wave over, and wait for him. "You know these people?" He gives me a questioning look. I laugh.

"Idiot. It's Jeanette." Jake doesn't know Jeanette too well, but I can see recognition trigger in his eyes. When we're a couple of feet away from the Amity vehicle, Jeanette steps out.

She has long dark brown hair, that almost looks black from far away. Small chunks of her hair are braided, and then all the little braids are pulled into a ponytail. She wears what I saw her in last, a black shirt, black pants, black shoes. Typical Dauntless fashion. "I never knew you were a magician, Ember." I roll my eyes at the sarcastic comment and the nickname. Only Jeanette can call me 'Ember'. But I call her 'Jean' in return so it works out.

"Yeah, well I am." I'm not really in the mood to do anymore explaining, even though she is practically begging me to tell her.

She pursues her lips, and comes towards me. She whispers in my ear so nobody else can hear but me, "I brought company." I gasp. "Don't worry. It's not the faction leaders….."she trails off and bites her lip. "It's your family."

"That's worse." I move away from her, away from the car. The sun is hitting the window, so I can't see inside, but they are in there. I can faintly make out some dark figures, and I know they are watching me.

She smiles at me. "Glad I found you when I did. Jeannie's pretty pissed. She is paying a big bucks to whoever finds you first."

"Hey. I found her first." Jake says and grabs my arm. Jean and I both laugh. It feels good to laugh with my friends again.

"Are you here to take me back?" Jake lets go, and Jeanine puts her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm here to go with you, stupid." She looks at me in the eyes for a second that feels like forever, and then turns back to the car. "You want to drive? You obviously know where to go, Em."

I nod and go to the car. It's pretty old and run down. I wonder where she got it. I take a deep breath, and slide into the driver's seat. I do my best not to think about the people sitting around me. _My family._ Jeanette sits next to me, and Jake goes to sit in the bed of the truck.

I run a finger through my hair. My eyes wander to the side mirror. I immediately regret it when I see myself. I look hideous, I look beaten and rotten. But it's just what the powers do; they eat me from the outside until they make their way in. I see the blue eyes that belong to me, my red hair, the few freckles dotting my nose. _The prophecy is right,_ I think, _Amity is woven deep within my skin._

I regret looking in the mirror even more when I see what family of mine came with Jean. First I see Will. He's looking out the window. Next to him is Tris, who is also looking out the window. I cringe when I see Tris, the last time I saw her was when I confronted her about being my mother. I have never before seen so much hurt and pain in anybody's eyes.

On Tris's lap is the girl with the wide smile and innocent eyes. Char, my five year old sister. She doesn't really know what's going on. She's still smiling and she's humming a song. Tris is bouncing her up and down on her knee, like my mom used to do to me when I was little.

The last person in the back row is Christina. She has a mixture and anger and fright on her face. But her eyes are set on mirror I'm looking at. Christina is staring straight at me. I squirm in my seat and look at the road in front of us. I turn the ignition key, and start the car.

As we move along the road, the silence gets more awkward. I usually count on Jake or Jean to break silence like this. Except Jake is in the back with two other male figures, whom I assume are Uriah and Four. Jean looks straight ahead at the open dirt path. I guess it does make sense for her to stay quiet, for these are my family issues, after all. I sigh really quietly and say, "Why are you here?"

That' not what I wanted to say. But it just came out of my lips. It is though, what I want to know the answer to. Still silence. I shoot a death glare at Jean, hoping that she will realize I'm trying to say _Hey, help me out here! _But she keeps her gaze on the road, silent.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier." My logic is maybe if I give them what _they_ want, they'll give me what _I_ want.

Christina lets out a frustrated shout. "Sorry? That's it? What was that Amber? How dare you defy our faction leaders like that!"

"She's right. You could have been killed." In the mirror I see Will looking at me to now too. Tris is the only one in the back of the car not looking at me.

I gulp, "I have a history with the faction leaders. I see them .."I move in my seat a bit. "about every other day."

"What?" Christina shouts at me.

Jean finally says something, "Is that why your rarely ever at school?" Really Jean? You decide to talk and that's what you _say_? You're not helping. I shoot her another death glare.

"What?" Now, It's Christina and Will shouting at me.

I sigh and laugh nervously, "There's a lot I have to catch you up on, huh?"

**I hope you enjoyed! I made this chapter extra-long because of the long authors note at the top. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! **


	3. Chapter 3- Six Visions

**Hey everyone! Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm pretty surprised I'm updating so soon! After all, I just got a two month old puppy yesterday…**

**So where was I….**

**JAKE POV**** (mixing it up!) **

I offered to go into the bed of the Amity truck, instead of Jeanette for one reason. Both of her dad's hated my guts. Her Uncle Uriah, I think likes me, but he's really protective of Amber. I think that's the deal with Will too. But Four hates me most of all. He can't even _look_ me in the eye. It's because of my dad, I know, but I wish he wouldn't judge me because of my dad's actions.

So, I got in the bed of the truck because I saw Will in the car. I didn't think anyone was in the bed, at the time.

I jumped over the side and sat down at the rear, facing the sunset. I only had about thirty seconds of peace before I hear rustling behind me. _Crap._ Someone, a guy, comes to sit next to me. I try to stay cool, and pretend I don't notice, so I just keep watching the sunset. "What the hell was that?"

Uriah. _Could have been worse,_ I have to keep reminding myself, _could've been Four._ "What the hell was what?" I'm looking at him now. He narrows his eyes at me.

"Don't pretend you don't know." I sigh and look back towards the sunset. But the sun is just about gone now; stars are coming out to play with the moon.

"What happened is not my story to tell." Which is true, he should be asking Amber, not me. In the silence it is only now I realize how slow we are going. Maybe like what, fifteen miles per hour? I focus on the dirt pathway we ride on. We're in between some pear trees, but I don't see very many pears. Maybe they aren't in season. I shrug it off.

"But you seem to have a big part in this 'story'." I freeze. I think my heart stops for a few seconds. It's Four.

I take a few seconds to regain my thoughts, "You're right, I do."

The car comes to a sudden stop and I fall back a bit, Uriah does too. I still haven't seen Four yet, just heard his voice. I think that maybe there was like a squirrel or something like crossing the road, and that's why we stopped moving.

But the car didn't start going again.

"Jake! Jake! Help!" Jeanette opens up the car door and calls my name. I hop out, followed by Uriah, and a reluctant Tobias.

I rush over to the driver's side, nobody even has to tell me something's wrong with Amber. I open the door with slightly shaky hands, to find her sitting in the seat, hands on the wheel, eyes straight ahead, unmoving. She's just having another flashback, but I guess they don't know that.

Amber told me once, why she gets these. Flashbacks, I mean. The memories she receives from the flashbacks usually are of times that she tries to forget. These ones are triggered by words, or seeing people. When she sees them or hears the word, Amber is instantly reminded of the last time they saw that person, or something terrible that the word relates to. The flashbacks have a lot to do with her powers. Amber uses them sometimes, to ease the pain of harsh memories. They don't go away, things never really do, and they're just pushed elsewhere in her mind.

When Amber uses her powers to do this, the memories are pushed away a little bit, the pain dulled. It's kind of like doing drugs, I guess. I don't like it when she does this, but I don't like to see her in pain either. She usually does this behind my back, but I can tell when she does. The power eats her alive.

The downside the to this, is when she is reminded, it's difficult for her to dull the pain again using her 'magical drugs'. So when she does get these flashbacks, you have to give her space. Which is going to be hard for her family.

"What's wrong with her?" Christina snaps at me. She hates me too, probably. I guess I'm not a likeable person.

"She's just having another flashback." I shrug. "Amber will be okay." I'm used to her flashbacks, they happen a lot now.

I turn around to face her family, who all haves angry looks on their faces, except Tris, who's head is buried into Tobias's shirt, and Char, who's smiling at me real big. "What?" I know exactly _what._ They want me to explain, apologize for running away with their daughter, something along those lines.

"Is she going to be okay?" Will says through gritted teeth. He looks really shaken up.

"Why wouldn't she be? These happen all the time." I say coolly.

Uriah sighs. "All the time? Like how often? Is she going to die? Could it kill her?" I've never seen Christina so frazzled. I barely even see her, but when I do she's calm and nice, a bit blunt though.

"Yeah, all the time. It's been typical since Jeanine um…." I trail off and look at the sky. "We should stay here tonight. The guards change positions at 5:30 AM. If we get there while their changing, it'll be easy to pass the fence." I put my hands in my pockets.

I recognize surprise on Will and Tobias's face. "Since Jeanine what?" Christina whispers harshly.

"She..she..you know you should really be asking Amber these questions, not me." The sun is gone now, we only have the moonlight to guide us.

"Well, Amber's unconscious right now so you're the next best thing." I gulp.

"Um...Jeanine electrocuted Amber, and she used so much voltage that it should of killed Amber, but she used her powers to resist it, and um, well, Jeanine kept using more, and more, until eventually Amber blacked out. Ever since then she's been really traumatized and has had a lot of flashbacks. Things she, you know, tried to forget. They've been coming back to her, and it's, I mean, she's…well…." I stop mid-sentence. I should say more, but I think I've already said too much.

Christina's face looks beaten and tired, "She..she what?" I can barely hear her she said it so quietly. Will goes over to her and wraps his arm around Christiana.

"What was the last thing somebody said to her, and who said it?" I'm starting to get curious about why she had a flashback this time. There was so many reasons, her parent's kicking her out and not calling her their daughter. Amber's blowout fight with Jeanette a couple of months ago- they got over it, but I know it still haunts Amber. Was it when Four hit her? When Will was so mad at her, he didn't talk to Amber for a whole week?

I heard a sniffle. "It was me. I talked to her last. All I said was her name." The words belonged to Tris.

**AMBER POV (she's in the flashback)**

_I walked to Tris's and Four's apartment, number 1348. I just saw Four in the cafeteria with Uriah and my dad, and I overheard Four say she was still here. Good. I only want to talk to Tris right now. _

_Before I knock, I have a moment of doubt in myself. Tris has been there for me as long as I could remember. She would come to my school plays and graduations. Tris would take care of me when my parents were away, and I remember the time I was in this apartment, drinking hot chocolate, as I smelled the mac-n-cheese Tris was making. My mom and dad went on a vacation, so I was with her. Tris was helping me study my math homework that night. I was struggling so much in my math class that year. We stayed up late talking about how pi times the diameter equals circumference. I actually got an A+ on my test the next day. I ran home to show Tris. She was so proud of me. _

_But this is something I need to talk about with her, even if it ruins our relationship. _

_So I knock, one, two, three times. _

_Tris comes to the door in skinny jeans a black tank top. "Oh hey, Amber! I was just heading to go get some food, have you eaten lunch yet?" I shake my head. "Well, let's go! Come on!" She tries to walk past me, but I stop her._

"_I really need to talk to your Tris." I say sternly. _

"_Can we talk about during lunch?" She bites her lip. Does she know what I'm going to say?_

_I clear my throat, "I really would prefer to talk to you in private. It's um important." I give her a half smile. _

_She puts her hand on my shoulder. "Are you having boy trouble?" I push her arm off and laugh. _

"_No! I am not!" I laugh again, so does she. _

"_Okay, okay, come on in." She smiles and takes me into her apartment. I really wish I wasn't about to break her beautiful smile. _

_Tris lazily sits down on the couch, "So, what's up?" I sit on the chair across from her, all muscles tense._

"_I…um….I wanted to know why you gave me to Christina in the first place." My gaze is on the floor. I don't want to see her expression. I don't want to see if she is hurt. _

"_What do you mean?" She is faking being confused. Tris knows exactly what I am talking about. Part of me is frustrated with her, and the other wishes she wasn't faking being confused. _

_I look up at her now, "I mean, Tris, or should I say, mom." I spit out 'mom' like it's a piece of trash. "Why did you not want me? Was I not good enough for you?" My voice sounds cold now, like a snake. I'm looking straight into her eyes, waiting for a reaction. _

_Tris looks like she is about to cry. "I…I…. oh Amber, I should've told you." She looks at me with pity now. _

"_I'm not a kicked puppy!" I scream and stand up. "Do you not think I would figure it out that I look nothing like Christina and Will, and look like you and Four?" Which is not entirely true. I don't look exactly like them. I have red hair. But I have Four's face and blue eyes. I have Tris's figure and nose. The similarities are obvious. _

_Tris is really crying now, "Amber, I'm so sorry. I….I…I…." She puts her head in her hands and starts to sob. I don't really know what to do, do I pat her back, tell her it's okay? I came here to confront her, and I think that's what I need to do. _

"_Tris. Stop crying. I need answers. I-" I was going to finish with 'I don't want to have to read your mind.' But she doesn't know what I can do, and I can't risk it. _

_Tris sniffles and looks to me, "Why do you need to know? It doesn't affect our relationship, or the one you have with your parents. It doesn't matter." I sigh, frustrated. _

"_It does matter! It does affect our relationship! It does!" I am screaming at Tris now. I am furious. _

_Tris gets up, "I'm not going to tell you Amber. This is something you discuss with your parents."_

_I get so mad at her; I slap her across the face. "You are one of my parents!" _

_Tris puts her hand on her cheek and looks up at me. "You shouldn't have done that, Amber." Filled with anger, Tris lunges on top of me. _

_We roll on the ground, knocking over her furniture, ruining her house, breaking things. We're tugging each other's hair, punching, kicking, slapping, screaming. I am trying my hardest to have my powers not come over me. I want to do something without them for once.  
_

_I finally get the upper hand in our little scrimmage. I'm on top of Tris, punching her in the nose when the door opens. _

"_Tris are-" Four stops dead in his tracks. He shouts at me, but I can't really hear what he says. Tris must have punched me in the ear harder than I thought. Four shoves me off of Tris, and pushes me up against the wall. He slaps me, and screams some more. _

_He screams things like, "What are you doing? Who do you think you are? I will kill you if you hurt Tris again!" Tears are running down my face. I slink down to the floor. The sides of my vision are turning black, but through the tears, I see Will and Christina coming into the room. _

_Tris is starting to stand, her hand on her forehead, she's kind of wobbling around too. When Christiana sees me, her face turns pale. Tris tries to stop her from coming in, saying I'm 'mental' or something. But Will pushes Tris out of the way. _

_Christina kneels by my side, "Oh honey, who did this to you?" Tears are streaming down her tan face. _

_I sigh, "It's my fault, Christina. I did it. I slapped Tris first." My eyes shut for a bit longer then a second. _

_I see her lips move, but I don't hear her. _

"_What? I can't hear you." I can feel myself drifting off into sleep. _

_Her lips move more now, more frantically. Will comes to me too, he was shouting at Four, I think. Everything is starting to blur a bit. _

_Before my eyes shut I say, "I'm sorry." _

**TIME LAPSE! **

_My eyes open, and I'm in my bed. My head is throbbing like crazy. Christina is next to me she whispers, "Hey honey. How are you doing?"_

"_Why are you so...quiet?" the room is spinning a little bit. _

"_I'm not. I'm not. I'm actually shouting right now, hon." She is crying again. _

"_No. You're whispering. I can barely..…barely hear you." I move my head a little on the pillow only to discover that movement makes my head throb more. _

_Christina is crying even more now and calls for Will. When he comes, she says to him, "The doctor was right. Her ears are…messed up." She sniffles. Will nods and rubs Christina's back. _

_Will kneels next to the bed and says, "You okay?"_

"_I don't know. Is Tris okay?" I remember what happened. _

_Will looks angry at me. I guess he should be, after what I did. "Yeah she's fine." He grits his teeth and leaves. _

_Christina looks at me, "We're disappointed in you, Amber. You shouldn't of asked about that to Tris. It's a sensitive subject for her. For all of us." She gives a half smile and puts her hand on my arm. _

"_Well how was I supposed to know?" I saw anger rising in me. "I'm sorry….how long have I been out?"_

_Christina bites her lip. "About….about five days." _

_I gasp. Not because that's a while to be unconscious, but because Jeanine will furious with me. "That long?" Christina nods. "Can you tell me now? Why Tris gave me to you." _

_Christina looks to the door, but I'm too tired to see what she's looking at. "You were not supposed to be born." Her words spill out and burn like fire. "You were an accident."_

"_A mistake." I sigh. _

_Christina chews the inside of her mouth and continues, "Four was abused when he was young by his father. He didn't want to be like his dad. Four was scared." I gasp. The great Dauntless prodigy, Four, was scared? Of me? Christina laughs a little. "Yes I know. Hard to believe." She glances back to the door. "But true. Tris didn't think she was ready to be a parent either. So, they knew they weren't going to keep you. They didn't kill you while Tris was pregnant with you; they thought that would be wrong." I nod and she continues, "When Tris told me she was going to put you up for adoption, I told her Will and I would take you. Raise you. Tris and Four were overjoyed that they still could be a part of your life and watch you grow up. We knew you find out eventually, and we planned to tell you. You just found out before we were ready." She looks at the door once more, and this time I look too. Tris, Four, and Will were all there. Tris runs out of the doorway when she sees me looking at them, Four goes after her. _

"_Thank you. For telling me. I know this is hard for you." _

_Christina smiles at me gratefully. "Don't think you're off the hook, missy. We'll talk about punishment later. But for now, I want to know one thing. How did you find out?"_

_I shut my eyes, and before I drift off to sleep again, I say, "Like you said, Chris. I plan to tell you. But I plan to tell you when I'm ready. You may find out before hand, and if you do then okay." _

_The world goes dark. _

**Wow! 2,900+ words! :D **

**PLEASE REVIEW! Give me some ideas for next chapters! Thanks! **


	4. Chapter 4- The Freedom Speech

**Hi everyone! So I'm home sick today. **

**Onward with Chapter 4! **

**AMBER POV**

Rather than waking screaming from my Tris filled flashback, I woke up shaking with sweaty palms. I was in the empty car, looking at the road ahead of us. I wiped my hands on my jeans and collected my thoughts.

_Okay, okay. I'm in the car….it's empty, so everyone must be outside…._I thought to myself. It does look like everyone's outside. It's dark but I can see figures moving around.

I open the door slowly, and my eyes glance to the side mirror. My face still is slightly bruised, due to using so much of my powers. I am ghostly pale, and my electric blue eyes look dull.

Outside the door, I find Jake sitting on the hood of the car looking at the stars. I don't know where anybody else is, and quite frankly, I don't really care. All that matters is me and him right now. I have a strong feeling that he can hear me, but he doesn't show it.

I sit next to him, and we are both quiet for a little. The silence is very comforting, for a change. Usually for me, silence means evil plans forming in minds.

"Hey." Jake wraps his arm around me. I nuzzle my face into his shoulder. He smells like summer.

"Hey." I mock his monotone voice. My throat feels scratchy. _Was I screaming?_

Jake sighs and says, "You okay? You were gone longer than usual."

I can't help but laugh a little at him. He sounds like he's my dad. Both of them, actually. Will and Four are really overprotective of me. I guess Jake is too, but I know he's doing it for a different reason. Jake is the only person that knows what Jeanine does to me, he knows what I can do. He knows what it does to me.

Will and Four are protective because I'm their daughter, and I think that's what every dad does. "Yeah, I'm okay. This one was longer. Usually they are only a few minutes of memories, this one was….over a couple of days." I stop to clear my throat, "Was I screaming?"

"You did scream. You also shouted stuff like, 'No! No!' 'Shut up!' 'That's not true!' you were mostly crying though." When he says it I now realize that my cheeks are kind of wet. "The thing that alarmed your family the most was when you cried. When you cried, you said, 'I am not the monster you think I am.' Over and over and over again. Like a robot."

"Oh. Where are they now?"

Jake shrugs, "They all went to go find water. I bet they are actually having a secret meeting trying to decide the best way to break us up." I laugh. It's true, my family doesn't really like Jake. He hasn't done anything wrong, they really are just very overprotective of me. They don't want me to get hurt. What they don't know is that Jake eases the pain. He doesn't create it, he heals it.

Christina is okay with us. She was just happy I have a boyfriend, I think. When we first got together a couple of years ago, all Christina would want to know about was our relationship. 'Did you kiss yet?' 'How was the date?' 'What do you say to him?' I can't help but smile at the memory. He continues, "But Uriah is with Char in the bed of the truck."

I nod, and then peck him on the cheek to tease him. I know Jake really wants to get at it **(A/N if you're confused- I mean like making out and going…farther…*wink wink*)** , so do I, but we can't because everyone is always around us.

I slide of the off the hood and make my way around. I haven't really thought of Char since I left. She's almost six, her birthday is next month. I remember the time I was told I was going to have a sister.

I was ten, my parents sat me down and told me. I was overjoyed. A sibling! Hardly any Dauntless families had only one child, and I was feeling left out when all my friends told me about their brothers and sisters.

Char was actually one in a triplet, but the others died in birth. I didn't really care, I just wanted at least one sibling. Her full name is actually Charlotte, which is a Candor name. She was named that, because apparently she looked just like Christina's sister, whose middle name is Charlotte. Will liked it because it almost sounded like Cara, his sister's name.

Anyway, they shortened the name to Char, so it would sound more Dauntless.

Two years later, Christina and Will told me that they would have another child, whose name is Tonya. She couldn't come to my choosing ceremony, Tonya was too young. She was left with a family friend, Lynn, and I can't help but wonder where Tonya is. I think Jeanette and my family left to find me right after the choosing ceremony, so they didn't go back for her.

_Did they know we were leaving, outside the fence? Or did they think I was just bluffing? _They are going to probably make me go home. Make us get caught by the guards at the fence. I shrug it off.

In the bed of the truck, Uriah is playing with Char, and I feel a pang of pity for him.

For last month, Uriah and his wife, Marlene, were told that Marlene was much too fragile to be able to have a baby. She was eight months pregnant, and they had to kill the baby in order for Marlene to live.

I wonder if their child would have been best friends with Tonya. There would be a two-year age difference, but that doesn't really matter, I guess. Age doesn't matter in Dauntless. Heck, if a two year old was qualified, they make him a leader.

"Amber!" Char squeals and runs to the edge of truck to greet me. I feel the corners of my mouth turn up slightly, but not enough to form a smile.

"Hi Char. Hi Uriah." Char giggles and hugs me, but Uriah just sighs.

Uriah greets me as he usually does, "Hey kid." Sometimes, it's nice for things to stay the same. I go to sit next to him. We have a lot to discuss. When I was younger, I would tell 'Uncle Uriah' everything. He was the person I was the most honest and open with. I think he feels upset that I'm not totally honest with him, like he thought I was.

"I'm sorry. For everything. Really. I am." The words and silent tears spill out before I can stop them.

He sighed. He's been doing that a lot lately. "Do you even know what's out there? Does freedom even….exist?" I can see hunger in his eyes.

"I know what's out there. It's hard to explain, there is so much, you really have to see it. Most of it won't make sense at first. It's so different from here! But a good different, you know? Anyways, I do know what's out there. The people there have been with me my whole life. All of ours, actually. " I sniffle. "You don't know they're here, but they are. I think the scariest thing is finding that your life…..is a lie." I whisper the last part so quietly I didn't even hear it.

We're silent for a beat. Uriah is taking it all in. "What is freedom, my dearest Amber?" I smile. I love it when Uriah talks like this. He makes me feel like I'm a queen. I guess I am the queen in my own universe.

"Freedom. Freedom is a dream. The dictionary says, 'At liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.' I want it so badly Uriah. All my life I've been hoping and praying that on that day the car wouldn't take me to Erudite headquarters, it would take me to school. That on that day, Jeanine wouldn't abuse me or beat me until I told her something about my powers that she didn't know. Tell her something, so that she could gather enough information, control me, and then use me against the factions. Not for the good of the factions, which is what I was created for. Why I am here. I've had to live in fear every day, covering up wounds, and slapping a smile on my face so people don't get suspicious. I don't want to worry about that anymore. I don't want to worry about if I'm acting 'Dauntless' enough. I don't want to! I want to be myself in a place where everyone could just care less. " I feel my feet lifting slightly off the ground, I sigh and place them back on the ground. "To answer your question, there is not freedom outside the fence. It is, sort of. But it's through the fence, through the area surrounding it, and only then, only then, we can reach it. The dream. Freedom."

I don't really know if Uriah caught all that, but he nods slowly and looks at me, "You are quite the poet, Miss Amber." I roll my eyes and punch him in the arm. "But why do you want it? If we kill Jeanine, wouldn't you be just as happy here? And do, you know, what you're supposed to?"

I open my mouth to say something, but he's right. So far, the only explanation I've given for wanting freedom is because of torture Jeanine has put me through. I lick my lips. "Don't you think there is more to life than just this? Uriah, you don't get it. I'm not Dauntless. I'm not Dauntless and Candor like you. I'm Dauntless, Erudite, Amity, Candor, and Abnegation. The thing with Divergence is that there is always one faction that slightly outweighs the other. For example, you are more Dauntless then Candor. And, because of this logic, you will always know where you fit into to. What crowd to run with. You will always be Dauntless. You wouldn't fit into Amity. You fit into Dauntless." _Uck_, I think to myself, _There goes my Erudite side. _

I continue, "As for me, I am an equal amount of each faction. I could easily disguise myself in all, but never, truly would I fit in. I never would be happy. I never would be as kind as the Amity, or as honest as Candor. I would still keep secrets. I would still be rude. So, when I am told to choose one of the five, one of my traits, I can't. Because I 'm not one of them, I'm all of them. Everyone is like this, Uriah. We all are kind, selfless, honest, brave, and smart. We all need those five basic traits in order to survive. So, we all are Divergent in the end. The factions just want you to work towards one thing, they want to be able to describe you as one thing. The factions are just an easier way to control us, an easier way to be classified. It's a bunch of shit."

"Wow. So you've been thinking, huh?" I roll my eyes again, and nod. "Don't think too much. I know you're part Erudite, but I don't want your brain to break." Typical Uriah.

He turns to leave, and I follow. Only then I realize that quite the crowd has gathered, they finished finding water, I guess. I wonder how much they heard.

Christina runs towards me, sobbing, and to answer my question she says, "Oh honey. We heard all of it. I'm so sorry." She hugs me and cries into my shoulder. I freeze up and don't hug back. Christina and I haven't actually made physical contact for months. I had forgotten what a mother's hug feels like.

"Uh, it's okay." Christina sniffles a few time a backs away from me.

Now, I do something I've needed to do for about five months. I turn to her, "I'm sorry, Tris." She nods, but still refuses to look at me.

Some people don't forgive easily, and I accept that, for I am one of those people. Tris opens her mouth to speak, "….

**And that's where we'll stop! Haha! I hope everyone's on the edge of their seats/beds/whatever you are sitting on. **

**I hope you liked this chapter. It's not my personal favorite, but I needed a transitional chapter because… . . . .down. ;) Sorry for the long paragraphs towards the end, but I think Amber really just needed the "spill the beans". Uriah took it surprisingly well (hint hint) of course, with his typical humor too. I'm pretty proud of myself for working the title in. **

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! **

**Ideas for chapters are always appreciated! **


	5. Chapter 5- A Body in the Meadow

**Hey everyone! :D Long(ish) time no update! Had some computer issues :/**

**So where were we…ah!**

**AMBER POV**

"So what now?" Four's voice sounds rough and strained. Tris still hasn't said anything, nobody has.

I place a stray piece of my hair behind my ear, "We sleep for a little. I'll keep a watch. The guards at the fence change at dawn, we can slip out easily if we're careful."

Christina touches her hand to her forehead, she's been doing this movement a lot lately. She's been stressed. She's been stressed because of _me._ It hurts a little, but now I need to push things like this away so I can focus on the task at hand. "You're really going through with this?" She chokes on each word.

"Of course we are!" _Did they think I was bluffing or something? _I think Christina has known me long enough to know I don't lie about things like that.

Christina starts to cry again, "But you're leaving behind a life, Amber! Don't you love us? Will you not miss us? I just learned about this prophecy, Amber. But I think you are supposed to fulfil it."

"This is not a life I love!" Anger flares inside of me. Of course I love her, of course I will miss her. Of course. This was a difficult decision for me to make, I know what I'm leaving. I can feel my feet getting ready to lunge on top of Christina, but Jake stops me before I can do anything.

He grabs me by my shoulders lightly and whispers in my ear, "Maybe you should take a walk." I nod, and realize that tears are on my face.

"Will you come with me?" I sound like a scared child. Jake nods.

"We will be back before dawn. If you don't want to come outside the fence, then I guess…" He trails off as he addresses my family. Jake can be really great during awkward silences, but not so much when it comes to talking through awkward silences with my family.

I gulp, "Then this is goodbye."

"We wouldn't be able to come back ever again, would we?" Uriah must want to go, but he has a family. He has Marlene and the two month old baby they adopted just last week. They need him. But I need him too.

"No. You wouldn't. And your life will change forever- almost everything you think to be true about your life," I shake my head, "It just…it changes you. For the better or for the worse, I can't say. It's up for you to decide, I guess."

Will looks startled, "So, you've been there before. Outside."

I smile a little. "Yes, but not for too long. I didn't get all the information I needed- I know they are still hiding something from me. I can't figure out what it is though. I'm also not going there, exactly. What's outside is not free. It's….outside what's outside."

"I hate secrets. I'm in." Tris smiles a little. It's the first time she's looked at me in months. I smile back.

I can hear Four sigh a little, "I follow her anywhere." Tris hugs him tightly, and I can't help but wonder if one day this will be Jake and I. Not in this situation, I hope, but if our love will be that strong.

Christina sniffles, "Amber oh, honey. I can't leave you. But I can't leave Tonya either. She really needs me. And Char. They are both too young." She breaks out into a sob, and Will holds her. He's been incredibly strong for all that's happened.

"I understand Christina. I'll do my best to come back one day. But think of it like I'm going to another faction. It's just the same." I smile weakly at her.

Will visibly gulps, "Be safe."

Now is when I break. I don't start to cry again, but I run to them. This wasn't a part of my plan, this complicates it. I wasn't supposed to regret my decision. I hug them both, "Thank you. I don't care what the truth is- you will always, always, be my parents. I know I haven't been calling you 'mom' and 'dad' but I think it every time I talk to you. Take care of Tonya and Char. Don't have them grow up to be like me. I love you." This only makes them hug me tighter, and I don't want to let go.

But I have to. "We love you too." Christina smiles and pats my arm. I nod.

I turn to Uriah, "Thank you too. For everything. Take good care of your family."

"I hope you take good care of yours too, kid. When the time comes." He smiles, "Hopefully not soon. I hope you and Jake haven't gone to fourth base yet, right?" I laugh and hug him. "You didn't answer my question." He says on a slightly more serious note.

I roll my eyes, "No. Goodbye, Uriah. I hope of all things, you stay the same." Uriah was always there to comfort me, he would always cheer me up. He still does.

"Good. I'll see you later, Amber. I know this isn't goodbye."

I bite my lip. And turn away.

"Hey, forget about me?" It's Jeanette. She's been silent. For once.

"No. But I was hoping you'd come." The Amity fields rustle with the wind.

She smiles, "I don't know, Ambs. I'd leave my family behind." I nod. Jeanette's older brother transferred to Candor two years ago. Her parents are still pretty shaken up about it. They do need her. "But I'd never miss an adventure. "

I say a quick farewell to Char, I don't even think she'll remember me two years from now. But I'll always remember her.

**TIME LAPSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**

Jake and I walk through the Amity fields. He's right, I did need a walk. We made some small talk, about the moon and pear trees. Of course, kissing too. With Four coming, he's always going to be with us. He will never leave me and Jake alone in a room. Four will be practically breathing on the back of our necks. So we need to kiss now to make up for the upcoming days.

And boy, do we kiss a lot.

"Amber, I'll always come with you, but are you ready to go?" He tilts his head sideways at me like he always does when he's curious.

I move my hand down his spine, "If we don't go now, Jeanine…..it will only get worse. Now that I've made a scene." He nods, processing this new information. I love it when he's like this. Jake is Divergent. He has an aptitude for Dauntless and Erudite. A strange pairing, I suppose.

"Yes. That is most likely." He's good at keeping the Erudite side under wraps- until he's with me. I think the Erudite is genetic, but that doesn't really matter.

"Can we go back to kissing now?"

So we do. The kiss is passionate, it's not urgent or rushed. Our lips move as though we have all the time in the world. Like all that matters is me and him.

I don't even bother asking Jake if it's hard for him- I'm the only family he has. Jake's father, Eric, leader of Dauntless, was foolish when he was younger. Too much to drink, pretty girl. Eleven months later, a baby on the doorstep with Eric's genes. Jake never asked about his mother, or even wondered about her, for all I know. Eric was a cruel father, he pretended he didn't even know Jake in public. Barely even spoke to him at home too. Eric was rarely home, anyway.

While Eric was foolish when he was young, he never learned. Babies appear at the door still. Eric leaves them at the adoption center. Why he kept Jake is a mystery to me. Maybe he was lonely.

"Dawn's approaching. Let's go." I groan, and we walk hand in hand together.

We don't make small talk anymore. We walk in comfortable silence, for who knows when we will get it again.

As we approach the car, the whole area is empty. I told Christina before we left to take the car. I told her to leave within the next thirty minutes. It's been at least three hours.

Something is terribly wrong.

Jake notices I proceed with caution, and he does too. He knows what I told Christina, but he doesn't seem as surprised as me. Then again, he has a talent for bottling his emotions.

Now we are only a few feet away from the car. In the small patch of grass next to where it is parked, something is lying in it. My sister. Char.

Char is in the patch of grass with a bullet hole in her stomach. The blood has dried, but it covers her. She is pale, my five year old sister, the one who is always singing and smiling. She is dead. I scream.

"Why, hello Amber. I was wondering when you were going to show up."

I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

Jeanine Matthews.

**Sorry for the short chapter, but I really needed to end it there. ADDS TO THE SUSPENSE! :D **

**I appreciate all the follows, but PLEASE REVIEW! Leave some feedback, and future chapter ideas please. Thanks! :) **


	6. Chapter 6- Death Letters from Mom

**JAKE POV**

There is a muffled, "RUN!", which I assume is from one of Amber's family members.

But we don't run. This is Erudite, for God's sakes. Everything is mapped out. In between the trees I can see flashes of blue. They've got this whole place surrounded by people with guns. Even though these people probably don't really know how to use guns, it is not likely that we will survive. H

Amber is frozen in place. She looks literally, frozen, if it wasn't for the tears that started to stream down her cheeks. I want to take a step toward Amber, to comfort her, but the Erudite are everywhere. Jeanine doesn't care about me, just that I'm bait for Amber, so I'd be shot immediately. Then I'd be just like Amber's sister lying on the ground; cold, pale, dead.

"Get in the car, Amber. This is for your own good." That is what Eric told me, when I asked him why he doesn't talk to me ever.

I was eleven.

_"Dad-" we were eating. He doesn't usually let me out of the apartment, so I don't typically eat in the cafeteria. He doesn't want me to embarrass him._

_He pounds his first on the table and says with a clenched jaw, "What did you just call me? I think I heard 'Dad', but you should know better then to call me that."_

_"I'm sorry." I look down at my lap. "I just wanted to know why you don't speak to me that much...outside of the apartment..."_

_"It's for your own good." Then he left the table._

He's spoken to me less and less since that say.

"You. Can't. Make. Me." Amber is trying her hardest not to start sobbing over her deceased sister.

Jeanine laughs a little, "Cute, how little your mind process while upset. Seriously get in the car." Amber doesn't move. "I'm not joking, Amber."

"Nor am I ." Amber's voice cracks slightly.

Jeanine sighs in frustration a little bit. "Jake, get in the car."

All of a sudden, Amber's jaw tightens and she whips her face around to look at Jeanine, who is standing in front of the drivers door to the car. "Honestly? You think you can make him go to? You can't control us, Jeanine. We're not apart of your little games."

"Amber. Jake is still my son, and he would want to obey his mother wouldn't he?"

This can't be real.

This can't be happening.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO.

Jeanine Matthews can not be my mother.

I don't have a mom.

And if I did, it's not her.

My mom is some factionless scum that my Eric payed to sleep with. She left me at his doorstep ten months later, and now she's probably dead due to lack of food or something.

Not Jeanine.

Not the woman that almost killed my girlfriend. But then again, Amber is more than my girlfriend. What we have is like a little infinity. I'm falling in love with her everyday...forever.

My mom can not be the person that has tried to obliterate half of this perfect infinity, this perfect forever.

I refuse to believe this.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to believe.

I don't know.

I get in the back of the truck.

Back here, is Amber's family and Jeanette. They are clutching onto each other. Tris and Four, Christina and Will, when I get in Jeanette scoots closer to me- she's looking deathly pale. Uriah is sitting at the back of the truck, a long piece of wheat between his lips. His arms are crossed over his chest and he's watching the sunrise.

It is a beautiful sunrise. One definitely worth watching.

So, I watch it. And as I do, the car goes along, in the direction we came from. I watch the guards change shifts, knowing that is when we would of escaped. We would be free from all this. I would never be told the lie that Jeanine is my mother.

The cars stops for a moment sometimes, it bumps and rattles a bit. Amber is obviously using her powers, which she really shouldn't be.

I don't do anything to stop her though. She sitting in the passenger side, alone in the car with Jeanine. Or at least, I think. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if there were two Erudite soldiers in the backseat.

As we go, I can see the Erudite soldiers running along the car behind the crop rows. I wonder if those people feel sneaking and clever. Thinking, "We got her, now!" Or if they are actually just struggling for breath, regretting their faction decision and trying to catch up with the others. I wonder if these people have families, I wonder their motive for doing this. I wonder what they usually do at this time.

After all, it's not everyday a bunch of Dauntless frolic through pear fields.

I reach down and pick up a long piece of grass. Uriah's got the right idea. I stick it between my teeth.

**SMALL TIME LAPSE (still Jake POV)**

The car comes to a sudden stop. We all lurch forward. The driver's side door opens hastily, and I know something has gone wrong. I hear the click-clacking of high heels on the dirt road. The car is only about two miles away from Amity headquarters now. I can see the roof of the buildings. The fence is gone from the horizon.

The Amity truck's passenger door opens very, very slowly. I can't see it. I'm still a little too frightened to move. There is a large moan and a fairly loud "thud." noise.

It's Amber.

I honestly don't care if I get shot anymore. I hop over the side of the truck and rush to her. She's covered in bruises that are slowly expanding over her body. In there few seconds that I have been with her she has drifted in and out of unconsciousness. Amber has overused her gift- her powers. It's eating her alive.

She is dying.

**Sorry I haven't updated in so long! Please review! **


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